Second Child Indestructibility

By Matt

As we patiently awaited our first child, we reveled in the excitement and newness of our friends. One of Julie's friends had a beautiful blue-eyed cherub of a boy. As we reached to touch him delicately (literal kid's gloves), her husband supplied us with what I found to be the most significant realization I've yet to hear about babies.

"They're quite durable."

Profound. It was in that moment that the reality and rationality surrounding this new chapter began to take hold. Our first little girl would be precious, but she wasn't a Faberge egg. Years of evolution and engineering had played a part in the process. They even accommodate for the huge head. I had to RELAX, understand that falls and bumps and bruises are a part of life, and appreciate those accidents as mutual life lessons. We fall so we can learn to get back up.

It took a while for me. It also took a bit of time for Ellie as well. She got her cues from me, and early on, I was constantly nervous. She COULD fall, she MIGHT slip, she MAY bump her head. As a result of my fear and anxiety, Ellie was learning hesitation. Ultimately, I knew that was the wrong path. I had to figure out a way to teach her to be aware and not fearful.

And lo and behold the solution to the dilemma arrived about 20 months later. A fiery comet shot from the uterus soon to be known as The Bebe.

Over the years, your family adopts mispronunciations. Those new phrases become part of the communal pidgin. One night Ellie declared our after dinner sweets as "Berserk". It is still perfect and used today. Bebe brought several herself, and by far the most frequent and endearing is the one that is heard often throughout the day.

"MEEOKAAAYY!" is usually preceded by random clangs, clatters and snaps that make the most skillful Foley experts go bug eyed. At least once a day, I'm positive I hear a tree cracking, a BB gun fired into a toilet, a low flying jet grazing the roof. Nope. It's simply Bebe. Maybe she's built a pillow tower to reach the top of her dresser, maybe she's decided to practice her crossbody splash from the ottoman to the couch, or maybe she's just fallen at full speed like a lawn dart. The one thing you never hear is a cry. Bebe has no fear, and so I follow her lead. No tears with scrapes, no tears with shots, no tears when the screen door crashes on her head like a whack a mole. Beatrice Bryant is a Kevlar-madillo. She's compact,with tiny muscular quads, traps like a gymnast, and the ability to morph into a cannonball. She climbs whatever she sees, hangs precipitously from whatever she climbs, and takes falls like a seasoned stuntman. I have no choice, don't you see? Just for kicks and karma, her spirit is as tough and as stubborn as her exterior. I've been told I'm a bit that way. We describe her to others with simplicity. Bebe is very sweet, until she is not. You cannot kill that which simply refuses to die.

Her sister is entirely different. A world apart. She is the sweetest piece of happiness I've found in this world. She's my delicate orchid, and Bebe is Monsanto-engineered Monkey Grass. Ellie is bright, and shining with spirit. She has a great grasp of language, early signs of creativity with her art and imagination. She also has an inclination toward the dramatic. Minor scrapes bring tears, loose teeth will not be pulled, and water up the nose at the pool nearly requires a fainting couch. Bebe gets pink eye and she curses the eye, Ellie gets pink eye and she curses cruel fate. She is just pure sunshine and optimism, and she feels with ferocity. We nurture that. She's an empathetic, sweet spirit. We need that in this world to keep it in balance. The contrast between the two is a perfect example of that.

"We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond."   --Gwendolyn Brooks

They are each other's magnitude and bond. Peanut Butter and Honey. Vanilla ice cream and rainbow sprinkles. Thelma and Louise. I'm lucky enough to be a stay at home Dad, and watch this perfect combination evolve. They learn from each other, protect each other, share their snacks, sit with shoulders touching, hug for no reason. It's a beautiful amalgamation of indestructibility and unyielding openness, a full scale weapon of mass compassion. With weapons like theirs, hate doesn't stand a chance.